7 horribly delicious, over-the-top, must-have ballpark food

We love peanuts and Cracker Jacks, don’t get us wrong, but ballpark concessions have reached new heights in recent seasons. While the minor leagues are full of insane and over-the-top food items, it’s a little harder to find culinary excess once you reach The Show. With that in mind, here’s a look at some of the wildest ballpark food and drink items at Major League Baseball stadiums, while you root, root, root for your Chicago Cubs or Cleveland Indians.

RELATED: Your World Series Travel Guide, with flights and hotels in Chicago and Cleveland.

The Thomenator / Delaware North Sportservice

1. The Thomenator – Cleveland Indians
Before things get too weird, let’s ease into our list with something familiar: the hot dog. Nothing says baseball like a delicious hot dog and an ice cold beer on a warm summer day. The Indians are turning it up a few notches by adding onions, sauerkraut and three pierogis to this dog named after franchise legend Jim Thome. Why waste your time in two separate lines when you can have the concession stand pile pierogis on top of your hot dog for you?

Photo courtesy of Danny Rockett

2. Chicago Dog Bloody Mary – Chicago Cubs
A day at the park wouldn’t be complete without the requisite hot dog. But what if that dog—served Chicago style of course!—was served as the garnish of a delicious Bloody Mary? That’s what bleacher fans are in for with the Chicago Dog Bloody Mary, served in a Cubs-logo mason jar, and complemented by a skewer loaded with a mini Vienna Beef dog and all the necessary garnishes.

Nachos on a Stick / Delaware North Sportservice

PLUS: These 5 modern ballparks are well worth the trip.

3. Inside The Park Nachos – Milwaukee Brewers
Ok, now we’re talking. Nachos…on a stick? That’s precisely what the geniuses at Miller Park have done this offseason. How, you ask? Let’s break it down:
1) Start with a stick of taco-seasoned beef.
2) Cover said stick with refried beans.
3) Roll it in crunched up Doritos.*
4) Deep-fry it. (Obviously.)
5) Drizzle sour cream and cheese over it.
6) Pour up a side of salsa for dipping.
7) Hand the epic concoction to drooling customer.

*I told you they were geniuses.

Chicken & Waffles / Micahl Wyckoff / Aramark

4. Chicken & Waffle Cone – Houston Astros (OMG)
As easy as the Brewers made it to eat nachos with one hand, let’s put our hands together for the culinary team at Minute Maid Park who thought up this handheld beauty. By placing bite-sized pieces of fried chicken alongside mashed potatoes inside of a waffle cone (with a honey mustard drizzle, naturally), you can still high five your buddy when Jose Altuve knocks in another run for the slowly-improving Astros.

Chicken-Fried Corn On the Cob / Delaware North Sportservice

5. Chicken-Fried Corn On The Cob – Texas Rangers
Sadly, this next item isn’t going to lower our list’s calorie count, but we can still claim to care about our health and say we are eating our vegetables. Thanks Ballpark in Arlington! By dunking an ear of corn in buttermilk batter and deep frying it (as most things in the state of Texas are), the Rangers have created a finger-licking good time.

Rib Helmet / Levy Restaurants / Chicago White Sox

6. Rib Helmet – Chicago White Sox
What’s more American than eating food at a baseball game out of a plastic souvenir helmet you can take home and slap on your kid’s head? Sure, we’ve seen ice cream sundaes devoured from inside miniature helmets for years, but this is next level. We’re talking about a full-sized helmet that includes ribs, french fries, cole slaw and corn bread. Go go White Sox, indeed!

College Daze Bloody Mary / Delaware North Sportservice

7. College Daze Bloody Mary – Minnesota Twins
Is anyone else thirsty after all that deliciousness? Head to Target Field to wash everything down with this ridiculous bloody mary, but, hang on, save room for the meal that’s included inside the cup. Alongside your standard bloody accoutrements (celery, pickle, olive, pepper, meat and cheese) sits the coup de grâce, a slice of cold pepperoni pizza. Sadly, I don’t think you can bring your own bean bag chair to sit in while you savor this monstrosity.

Churro Dog / Levy Restaurants / Arizona Diamondbacks

8. Churro Dog – Arizona Diamondbacks
Time for dessert and, for that, let’s head to the desert. Chase Field has developed what might be the craziest of all concession items by slicing a chocolate-glazed doughnut in half (I like where your heads are at, guys) and placing a warm cinnamon churro inside it like a hot dog. But, wait, they’re justgetting started. Then, they top it with frozen yogurt, whipped cream, chocolate and caramel sauces (because why choose just one?). Estimated caloric intake on this glorious gut bomb: 1,117 calories.

You probably need a nap now (or an angioplasty). Play ball!

Tagged: Destinations, Family time, Midwest