What if Ferris Bueller had taken his day off in 2016?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.”  So said Ferris Bueller in the 1986 smash Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which turns 30 in June. To celebrate the iconic teen film, fans will gather in Chicago May 20-22 at Ferris Fest, a series of events including a screening of the film with several cast members in attendance, a recreation of the parade and “Twist and Shout” sequence, a bus tour of all the Chicago landmarks featured in the film, a recreation of Ferris’s room at the Virgin Hotel Chicago and more. But we wonder, if Ferris had been a teen today, how might he have played hooky? Here is the 2016 version of Mr. Bueller’s day off:

After waking up in bed at his parents’ Naperville McMansion, he’d start the day by telling his mother he has the Zika virus and needs to stay in bed to recover. He’d then call his pal Cameron and convince him to steel his father’s prized Model X 2016 Tesla so that the two of them and girlfriend Sloane could spend the day becoming the new face of #squadgoals. As the trio hit the town, news of Ferris’s illness would spread all over social media and hilarious SAVE FERRIS gifs and memes would trend on Facebook and Instagram.

Background image by Tania Liu (Flickr CC)

The trio would arrive in the city and hit up various cultural attractions including the Modern Wing at the Art Institute of Chicago, where they would imitate some of its most iconic works of art including Picasso’s “The Old Guitarist,” Matisse’s “Bathers by a River,” and Warhol’s portrait of Mao Zedung.

Next, they would splash around Crown Fountain at Millennium Park, take selfies in front of the Bean, lay on their backs and look up at the sky from the lawn in front of the Pritzker Pavilion and tackle the climbing wall at Maggie Daley Park. Snap Stories would ensue.

At lunch they would drive to the West Loop and try and snag a table at Blackbird where the host would refuse to seat them until Ferris convinced him that he’s actually Doug Sohn (of Hot Doug’s fame), “the Sausage King of Chicago.”

Background image by Richie Diesterheft (Flickr CC)

Afterward, they would stumble upon the 47th Annual Chicago Pride Parade where they would break into a spontaneous rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way.”

After returning the Tesla to Cameron’s home, Ferris would then call an Uber to ensure he got backto Naperville in time for his parents’ return. He would slip into his pajamas and onto his Casper mattress just in time to tweet the phrase “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it” before his parents came in to check on him.

Save

Tagged: Midwest, Uncategorized