Top 9 things heard on family road trips (and how to deal)

Celebrating the end of summer with one last Labor Day family road trip? Well, then you can expect to hear at least a few of these classic lines coming from the back seat. But don’t worry—we’ve got snappy parental comebacks to every kindof grousing the passenger peanut gallery could possibly throw your way.

1. “Are we there yet?”

Solution: Let the kids see for themselves. If they’re old enough for cell phones and data plans, consider sending them the GPS map of your journey, so they can follow along. For younger kids, break the journey into legs, and set milestones that can be celebrated with a snack, meal or healthy stretch at a rest stop.

2. “Mom, he/she is bugging me.” / “You’re on my side.”

Solution: Keep them busy! If space allows, cookie sheets are great for toting along DIY magnetic puzzles, paper dolls and letters of the alphabet. For crafty young ones, muffin tins are a simple way of keeping beads, bands and bits organized. In both cases, kids will have their laps full of enough fun to avoid taunting siblings.

3. “I’m bored.”

Solution: Game time! Kids of all ages will be game for some classic road trip fun like 20 Questions or I Spy.

4. “I have to pee.”

Solution: Gear up. If you’re in the middle of nowhere, most guys can manage to easily empty their bladders. Women and girls, on the other hand? Not so much. If a toilet can’t be found, squat-averse female travelers can give this strange but handy contraption a try.

5. “Don’t make me come back there!”

Solution: Consider making a pit stop if the kids are acting up and your patience is shot, but if the kids just won’t let up, encourage them to put on headphones and chill out in their own headspace for a while. You’ll find plenty of great kid-friendly road-trip music recommendations on sites like Pinterest.

6. “Oops. Do you have any napkins?”

Solution: If you haven’t stocked the glove box with leftover drive-through accoutrements, consider bringing wet naps or baby wipes for sticky fingers or sudden spills. A roll of paper towels in the trunk can also prove handy when checking the car’s oil levels, or cleaning bug crud off the windshield squeegee.

7. “It’s my turn to DJ!”

Solution: Road trip tradition has often dictated that DJ responsibilities lie with whoever is sitting shotgun. Another fair option is allowing every car member a certain number of songs on a playlist set to shuffle. Or if you’re old school, rotate the choice of CD evenly between car members.

8. “Is that smoke coming from our car?”

Solution: If yes, put on your hazards and pull over as soon as it’s safely possible. If the coolant temperature enters the red zone, turning on the heater will help vent some of the excess engine heat, but the car will need servicing right away if it’s a coolant leak or electrical issue. If there’s smoke coming from under the hood, it’s best to call an area mechanic before doing any further damage.

9. “Ewwww. Roll down the window!”

Solution: Turn up the radio. Just kidding. Outside of a cool breeze, not much can help car farts, except maybe lighting a match and avoiding too much fast food on the road. If your brood’s got a repeat offender, you may want to consider a more drastic measure, like public shaming.

Tagged: Family time