7 signs you just got back from San Francisco

Ahh, San Francisco. The California dream city delights with her rows of quaint Victorian houses, clanging street cars, scenic vistas and inimitable culture. Don’t think it will leave a lasting impression? Think again. We promise you the City by the Bay will leave an indelible imprint and you’ll know it. Here are 7 signs you just got back from San Francisco.

1. You find yourself whining relentlessly anytime the temperatures inch beyond 72 degrees.
It seldom gets above the mid-seventies in San Francisco thanks to a climate that’s tempered in part by its coastal location and also because of the large, thick blankets of fog that often swaddle in the city in frosty breezes during the summer months. As a result, you will meet plenty of locals who are so accustomed to wearing a warm hat and scarf in July and will complain to anyone who listens when the fog parts and temperatures soar unexpectedly into the eighties.

2. Using your parking break becomes an automatic reflex.

San Francisco has a lot of hills—49 of them to be exact. Part of the romance of the city is being treated to unexpected views of the skyline, bay and beyond from their peaks. But driving in this city is a different story. There are hills so steep you swear your vehicle will never make it to the top, parallel parking in rush hour is a nightmare, and you better believe that if you don’t apply your parking brake, the possibility your Prius will go rolling down a hill is very real indeed. Things just get more challenging when you add some serious zig zagging to the mix, such as Lombard Street, widely reported to be the crookedest street in the world (most agree it is, though Iowa’s Snake Alley often makes a run for the title).

Related: 10 totally touristy (but worth it) things to do in San Francisco.

3. A one bedroom renting for $3,000 monthly seems like a huge bargain to you.

Some time ago San Francisco overtook Manhattan as the most expensive place to live in the U.S. and that’s saying a lot. According to Zumper, an online source for all things real estate, the average one bedroom in SF is now $3,500 monthly making anything less than that a relative bargain. So if you happen to be strolling through a neighborhood in a city like Chicago or L.A., consider thinking twice before plunking down $36,000 annually on a lousy one bedroom.

4. You worship at the feet of all things tech, but hate the people who work in that industry.
It’s not uncommon in SF to use an iPhone app like Task Rabbit to hire a minion to wait in line for you for a table at some new trendy restaurant. Then you might take an Uber to said eatery, check in on Facebook upon arrival and upload a pic of every course to your Tumblr and Instagram feeds. Unfortunately, the folks who build these tools and apps are blamed for driving up rents and are thus considered enemy number one by the very same people who use them.

5. You find yourself wondering, has the rest of the world always been so straight?
It’s not an understatement to say that San Francisco’s LGBT community is out, proud and exceptionally large. The city’s reputation for tolerance has made it a known gay mecca since the end of World War II and the Bay Area boasts the highest percentage of out individuals in the United States. This of course is good news for heterosexual men who are so low in numbers that some locals joke that meeting a single straight guy in this city is akin to spotting a unicorn. Lucky for them.

Related: 15 things never to say to a Portlander.

6. The lack of vegan menu options at restaurants in other cities shocks you.

Got a hankering for the scrumptious king trumpet mushroom and hearts of palm ceviche? How about a sweet and tasty soymilk-based gelato featuring chocolate, peanut butter and swirls of vegan marshmallow sauce and vegan brownies? San Francisco has long been on the vanguard of the movement to eliminate animal products from our foods and even the most carnivorous menus in town tout solid vegan options. We can’t wait for the rest of the world to catch up.

7. You cringe whenever you hear nicknames like “Frisco” or “San Fran.”
To hear someone refer to San Francisco as San Fran is akin to the slow and painful scraping of nails on a chalkboard and residents do have permission to chase you out of town with torches and pitchforks should you use the God awful nickname Frisco. There are only three acceptable names to use when referring to the City by the Bay and they are San Francisco, SF or “the city.”

Tagged: California, Destinations, Family time