By Megan Douglas
I have an extensive travel resume, ranging from Paris to Rarotonga to Vietnam, and in most cases I was also traveling with people who weren’t my significant other. I find that adding people onto any trip really enriches not only the trip, but my life. There are certain bonds that are created while traveling that can’t be reproduced in day-to-day living. Weathering the ups and downs of travel brings people closer together –- if you’ve done your homework and planned ahead.
Before leaving for a trip, especially with a group trip of 3 or more, I recommend getting the following questions answered in an open and honest discussion:
1. Is this a vacation or are we traveling? Most people don’t make a distinction between traveling and vacationing, but I would argue this is one of the most important things to talk about before leaving. It lets everyone in the group know how you approach your trip and the mindset you have.
Vacationing means that the main objective of your time away is rest and relaxation. Having fun or resting takes precedence over any time schedules. Activities can be swapped and switched at any time because you are on vacation, and on vacation, you do what you want and only what you want.
Traveling means that the trip is an opportunity to see a part of the world or country that you haven’t before. Emphasis is put on sightseeing, experiencing the culture and keeping a schedule so that you can optimize your time at the location.
Every trip I have been on has been a blending of these two mindsets. For example, on a 6-day stay in Bora Bora, we decided before we left that our first two days were going to be vacation days. This meant that I was only going to do exactly what I wanted. Perhaps I would spend the day in my hotel room reading a book, regardless of the fact that outside was a beach. Remember, on vacation, what you want rules the day. If the people you are with agree on the day’s activity, great, but if not you shouldn’t feel pressured to do what they want you to do. Conversely, if it’s a traveling day and you’ve agreed to it, don’t be surprised if people get upset if you want to sit around a café all day. Traveling days are all about doing what was expected and agreed to.
Like I said, setting these expectations up front can be one of the most important things you can do. If you are traveling with a large group, don’t be afraid to split off into a smaller group with similar interests. There is no rule that the group needs to agree on everything.
2. What is your budget? Yep, I said it, you should talk about money even though it’s not considered polite. When going on a trip with friends, there are likely to be large variances in the amount of money available for expenses. Find out how people want to spend their money. Personally, I don’t like to spend money on food when I am away from home. For example, when I was in New Zealand, I shopped at grocery stores and cooked for myself. I saved my money for activities like sea kayaking in Doubtful Sound or climbing the Fox glacier. My brother values culinary expertise and therefore doesn’t mind putting some money into getting a good meal. Since we knew this about each other, when we were in Australia together, there were no hard feelings when we split up for meals.
