The cleaning staff were just leaving the property when we pulled up. A good sign, I thought. WRONG.
The half-empty open bottle of wine on the kitchen counter was the first warning sign.
As we wandered through the unit, we noticed many more warning signs:
The bed sheets were noticeably wet. The “clean” bath towels hanging up were wetter. I texted the property hostess/contact. Her responses were 1) disbelief and denial, then 2) arguing with me that it wasn’t possible, and then 3) that the cleaning staff were “turning around” – a lie. They never came back.
The floors and the carpets and the bathroom rugs had clearly not been vacuumed or even swiffered. Bathroom rugs are dirty.
The bedroom carpets are disgusting – clearly haven’t been shampooed in years and years and years.
The dishes in the cupboards were not clean – there were bits of food still on some silverware and cooking utensils, and there were lip prints on and dried red wine in the wine glasses.
The kitchen drawers were not clean – many crumbs and stray hairs in the drawers.
Bathrooms were only nominally clean – stray hair everywhere.
The mops were bone dry – not necessarily bad as I would hope for a more sanitary process in a rental unit, like a Swiffer, but still a telling sign.
Baseboards have not been touched in a long, long time. I know. It’s a rental. But things are starting to add up.
No corners or edges along wall on flooring have basically ever been even vacuumed.
No dishcloths, dish drying towels, or kitchen hand towels. Very little dish soap.
Lampshades not vacuumed in forever – noticeably dirty.
Every single outdoor chair on the patio was ripped – the back webbing was completely separated at the top from the chair.
The window ledge of the big main master bedroom window had a solid 1/8” of dirt on it.
So by this point, we know what we are in for. And being able-bodied self-sufficient adults and knowing the cavalry is definitely not showing up to help, we did what we had to do. We put the towels and the master bedroom sheets in the clothes dryer (not the spare bedroom sheets – we weren’t going to use that bed and it’s not our job). We bought disinfectant spray cleaner at the grocery store and went to work. I completely disinfected both bathrooms (floors, shower, toilets, sinks). I also did all main floor areas of hard surface flooring with the spray disinfectant and paper towels, on my hands and knees. I tried but couldn’t get the master bedroom window sill remotely clean.
My husband disinfected all kitchen counters, the microwave, and the top of the fridge. The fridge was a typical smaller type fridge, and granted most people are not going to see the top of it. But when someone 6’4” rents the place (my husband), he is going to see the filth. And in his opinion, the top of the fridge has not been cleaned since ancient times.
Over the course of the next three days, we gradually washed almost all the dishes in the cupboards through the dishwasher. Just kept loading it, running it, and unloading it. That was easier than keeping track of what we had washed and what we hadn’t.
We also bought dish drying towels and a scrub pad for doing dishes.
Our paperwork indicated there would be additional keys. There were none. The hostess argued with me via text that there was only one key. I texted her a picture of our paperwork indicating otherwise. Magically, she then agreed there were more keys and gave me a list of locations to check. No additional keys.
By this time we called the owner and let him know the condition of the unit and everything going on. Not much he could do, but we wanted him to know the absolute filthy condition of the unit so perhaps he might consider changing cleaning companies.
And, of course, according to Murphy’s law, we managed to lock ourselves out of the unit. We accidentally left the single key inside and realized it 5 seconds after we shut the locked door behind us. Thankfully it was at 9:00am, and we alerted the hostess and the owner right away. (If it hadn’t happened to us, it was going to happen to some other renter.) The hostess again argued with me, so as usual she was supremely unhelpful. The owner arranged for the handyman to come to get us back inside.
We returned to the unit that day around 3:30. No handyman. No extra key. Still locked out. Texted the hostess and the owner. Hostess still unhelpful. I threatened to break in. She magically got cooperative and said she’d check with the handyman. Handyman shows up 20 minutes later. He manages to break in without breaking anything. Well done. However, the front door is original, and no modern lock is going to work. He used a reciprocating saw to saw off the door handles and it takes a few hours to get the lock out and the new one rigged to work for the night. He is a nice young man, but this job was way out of his league. He talks with the owner and they agree a new door needs to be installed.
There are other adventures, but this review is already too long. Suffice it to say that the next day the handyman finally shows up around 2:30 and begins to remove the old door and install the new one. We were gone that whole day and returned around 7:30. New door installed – with two cracks in the jambs/headpiece of the pre-hung door caused by the young handyman. We had to help him figure out how the keypad door lock works (we have the same one at home and on my office building). We helped him clean up. Ushered him out around 8:30 pm or so.
And everything in the unit was covered in a fine layer of stucco dust from his need to cut the exterior stucco to install the door – the floors, the kitchen and bathroom counters, the furniture, the beds and nightstands, all lampshades, the baseboards (yes, they are now even dirtier than before), the decorative objects, and of course all of the dishes because that stuff creeps everywhere.
And here is where we try and fail miserably to clean the unit again – I got out the unit’s vacuum cleaner and fired it up. Nothing happens. I try three other outlets. Nothing. And now, kids, we have at least partly solved the mystery of why the floors were initially so dirty – the unit’s vacuum is dead and the motor doesn’t even turn on. The cleaning company might say they use their own vacuum. That would be a lie. No one vacuumed this unit. Like, ever.
There is no way the current cleaning company is up to the job of cleaning this unit after the door installation. The owner needs to hire ServiceMaster and start over with a different regular cleaning company.
The owner was nice. The hostess was nice but unhelpful and passive aggressive. DO NOT RENT THIS UNIT. You can do better.