{"id":35411,"date":"2015-06-26T15:02:47","date_gmt":"2015-06-26T20:02:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/?p=35411"},"modified":"2018-02-28T17:25:27","modified_gmt":"2018-02-28T23:25:27","slug":"15-things-never-to-say-to-a-deadhead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/2015\/06\/15-things-never-to-say-to-a-deadhead\/","title":{"rendered":"15 things never to say to a Deadhead"},"content":{"rendered":"

You mail-ordered your commemorative \u201cFare Thee Well: Celebrating 50 Years of Grateful Dead\u201d tickets. (You\u2026um\u2026got DEE-nied.) You waited online for hours, and hours<\/em>, trying to order them through Ticketmaster. (Denied again.)<\/p>\n

But somehow\u2014some way\u2014you\u2019re going to Chicago<\/a> for the Dead shows at Soldier Field July 3, 4\u00a0and 5 (find your flight here<\/a>). After all, it\u2019s been 20 years since the surviving members\u2014Mickey Hart, Bob Weir, Phil Lesh and Bill Kreutzmann\u2014played together as THE Grateful Dead, since Jerry Garcia\u2019s untimely passing in 1995. And this time, they\u2019ll be on stage with Phish\u2019s Trey Anastasio, as well as Bruce Hornsby and Jeff Chimenti. So you\u2019ll be there too obv, because let\u2019s face it: Jerry would want it that way.<\/p>\n

\"Grateful<\/a><\/center> <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s some\u00a0help getting back into the hippie groove scene this Fourth of July in Chicago, which is the<\/em> top U.S. destination<\/a> for the\u00a0holiday weekend. In case you forgot your ‘head code, here’s a handy list of 15 things never to say to a Deadhead\u2026<\/p>\n

1. This is my first Dead show!
\n<\/strong>That\u2019s adorable. But if this is, in fact, your first Dead show, and you scored a coveted ticket, we strongly urge you to keep that bit of info to yourself.<\/p>\n

2. I hope they play “Truckin\u2019.”
\n<\/strong>No, you don\u2019t. You want them to play “Terrapin Station,” “Dire Wolf,” “Althea, “Dark Star,” “Scarlet Begonias,” and okay maybe a “Shakedown Street.” On second thought, you’ll\u00a0take what you\u00a0can get.<\/p>\n

\u00a0Related: While you\u2019re in town, here are 15 things you should never say to a Chicagoan.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

\"Grateful<\/a><\/center> <\/p>\n

3. Who\u2019s got my miracle?
\n<\/strong>Honey, this is not the \u201880s. We\u2019re grown-ups now, and we pay for things. There were over 300,000 ticket requests through mail order alone, only about 20 percent were actually honored, so don’t\u00a0come to Soldier Field expecting to get miracle\u2019d. Pony up, like the rest of us.<\/p>\n

4. That’s okay; I don’t need a ticket. I’ll just sneak into Soldier Field.<\/strong>
\nWe have two words for you: Deer Creek. 1995. Gate crashing. Okay, that’s five words.<\/p>\n

5.Trey\u2019s a better guitarist than Jerry ever was.
\n<\/strong>Let\u2019s not do this. But if you really feel that way, Phish Phan, you best not bring that attitude to Soldier Field. Did we mention this is where Jerry played his last show in 1995? You\u2019re treading on sacred ground.<\/p>\n

6. Where can I get a balloon?
\n<\/strong>Balloons became\u00a0the source of serious controversy among card-carrying hippies. This is otherwise known as hippie crack, and nitrous oxide kills brain cells. And you\u2019re an adult now. Stay. Away. From. Balloons. In. The. Lot.<\/p>\n

Related: This is why 2015 is officially the summer of Chicago.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

7. Hey, you’re in my seat!
\n<\/strong>True Deadheads know that actual seat assignments don’t really matter; once you’re in thestadium, we’re all family. Be kind to your fellow hippies, and let them pick grapes where ever they’re feeling the groove.<\/p>\n

8. I\u2019ve seen the Dead at Furthur, how is this any different?
\n<\/strong>If you don\u2019t understand why this is different and special\u2014It\u2019s the band’s\u00a050th<\/sup> anniversary! It’s been 20 years since they played their last shows at Soldier Field!\u2014then we recommend watching the shows streamed live on YouTube<\/a> or at the Park West<\/a>. You\u2019ll see the difference.<\/p>\n

\"Grateful<\/p>\n

9. Where can I get those awesome Limited Edition Grateful Dead Crocs?<\/strong>
\n<\/strong>GDTS TOO (Grateful Dead promotions) is merchandising the heck out of these reunion shows. Among the well-worn Birks you\u2019ll see kicking up dirt in the parking lot at Soldier Field, you\u2019ll also see Dancing Bears-adorned Crocs. They\u2019re actually kind of cute, in that I\u2019m-a-grown-up-now kind of way. (But don\u2019t ask about them.)<\/p>\n

10. Does Chicago<\/a> have any homeopathic stores?
\n<\/strong>The famous\u00a0German Merz Apothocary<\/a> in Lincoln Square has been ground zero\u00a0for homeopathic and natural healthcare products for over 140 years. Next door at Q Brothers they also carry an impressive selection of men’s\u00a0products (including pomade for your beard<\/em>). And, no joke, thyme and lemongrass pit\u00a0paste (you heard that right). And you’ll probably need it.<\/p>\n

11. Chicago<\/a> doesn\u2019t have any good vegetarian or vegan restaurants, does it?
\n<\/strong>While this is a meat-and-potatoes town, The Heartland Caf\u00e9<\/a> in Rogers Park is a Chicago institution, and a longtime favorite among the hippie community. Plenty of vegetarian and vegan options; everything here is organic, sustainable and socially conscious. Just like you.<\/p>\n

Video:\u00a0Use Phrank’s out of office reply for the shows this weekend.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

12.\u00a0Isthere a beach I can rinse off at, in between shows?
\n<\/strong>Chicago has no less than 24 beaches in the city. You can head to the Museum Campus<\/a>, near Soldier Field, to cool off in Lake Michigan. Or if you want to venture north, Montrose Beach<\/a> has a longstanding reputation with its hippies. Bring your dog for a swim, too, or just bury your barking dogs in the sand\u2014you\u2019ll be amongst your people.<\/p>\n

13.\u00a0Can I crash on your couch, dude?
\n<\/strong><\/strong>That goes without saying, man. If you know anyone who lives in the Chicagoland area\u2014or anyone’s cousin for that matter\u2014you don’t even need to ask. But in case you want a more comfortable place to sleep and shower (or just sleep), these\u00a0hotels are still available<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"Dark<\/p>\n

14.\u00a0I didn\u2019t get tickets to the show. Is there anything else going on?
\n<\/strong><\/strong>Is there anything not<\/em> going on in Chicago<\/a>, is a better question. Everyone from Terrapin Flyer at Martyrs’<\/a> and Dark Star Orchestra<\/a> at the Vic, to Karl Denson\u2019s Tiny Universe and Robert Randolph at Concord Music Hall,\u00a0plus so many more great jam bands playing Grateful Dead and Phish tributes are in town. Here\u2019s the complete pre- and post-party lineup<\/a>,\u00a0with ticket info.<\/p>\n

15. Ew, what’s that pungent smell?
\n<\/strong>It’s patchouli oil,\u00a0a.k.a. hippie perfume. Mixed with a couple of other smells.\u00a0It’s going to be a long three days, you’ll get used to it.<\/p>\n

Have a great show!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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Who’s got my miracle? Ew, what’s that pungent smell? 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