{"id":35073,"date":"2015-06-12T11:56:28","date_gmt":"2015-06-12T16:56:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/?p=35073"},"modified":"2018-02-28T17:40:08","modified_gmt":"2018-02-28T23:40:08","slug":"jailbreak-where-wed-send-these-oitnb-inmates-on-vacation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/2015\/06\/jailbreak-where-wed-send-these-oitnb-inmates-on-vacation\/","title":{"rendered":"Jailbreak: Where we’d send Orange Is the New Black season 3 inmates on vacation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Orbitz<\/a><\/strong> is organizing a Litchfield jailbreak in honor of season three of Orange is the New Black<\/em> season 3, released on Netflix June 12. Lord knows the girls can use a vacation. Here’s where we’d send our favorite criminals once we spring ’em from the joint.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Orange<\/a>

Source: IMDB \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Piper Chapman<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Bermuda<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Even though Chapman is a self-proclaimed WASP, Martha\u2019s Vineyard just seemed too Pre-Prison Piper. Bermuda is where affluent East Coasters go to get just outside their comfort zones enough to brag to their friends. Bermuda has all the comforts of a Martha\u2019s Vineyard, but chances are she won\u2019t run into any of her mother\u2019s Bridge Club friends.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Ali Goldstein – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Red<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Kauai, Hawaii<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

In season one there was \u201cthe chickening.\u201d Red had one simple request and it was to find the chicken that Piper spotted in the yard and eat it. It was an intelligently superior chicken, and Red wanted to absorb its power. Fair enough. Kauai is home to a whole lot of feral chickens\u2014enough that they\u2019ve become a tourist attraction. Once she\u2019s finally caught a superior chicken and absorbed its power, she can rest her ever-aching back on the beach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Jessica Miglio – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Yoga Jones<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: A yoga retreat in Bali<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Yoga Jones can finally do her Chaturanga without the drone of an AA meeting across the mess hall. Infact, we\u2019ll call ahead to make sure there\u2019s nothing resembling a mess hall at this particular yoga retreat. Jones, leave your over-sized nightshirt at Litchfeild, because it\u2019s nothing but Lululemon from now on, sister. Namaste.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Jill Greenberg – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Crazy Eyes<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Netherlands<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Blonde people everywhere, calming fields of tulips and windmills, and the friendly nature of the Dutch. We\u2019d have Crazy Eyes stick to the soothing Holland countryside as opposed to the over-stimulating city of Amsterdam. Well, okay maybe just a quick stopover in Amsterdam.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Jessica Miglio – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Tasha (Taystee)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Orlando, Florida<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Little orphan Taystee needs to be a kid again, and surround herself with fellow\u00a0Harry Potter fans. First stop for Taystee: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando Resort. Next stop: wherever the closest candy store is\u2014probably Main Street Confectionery inside Disney World.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Jessica Miglio – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Lorna Morello<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Venice, Italy<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Morello will get her honeymoon, dammit! She\u2019ll have to use her crazed imagination to pretend that Christopher is physically there with her, but at least she\u2019ll be in Italy with\u2014errmm\u2014like-minded people.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Source:<\/a>

Source: IMDB \u00a9 Paul Schiraldi Photography – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

Inmate: Daya Diaz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: Naples, Florida<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Daya needs a babymoon, and Naples is where new mothers and convicted felons alike can go to spend some peaceful time on the beach. Daya will be sketching her doodles with her feet in the pool while new Bennett babe snoozes in the sun.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Pennsatucky\"<\/a>

Source: IMDB Photo by Jessica Migli – \u00a9 2013 – Netflix<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Inmate: Pennsatucky<\/strong><\/p>\n

Where we\u2019d send her: spring break in Cancun, Mexico<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Pennsatucky never got a college spring break and as a result she lives her whole life like a highly destructive college spring break. There\u2019s only one cure for crazy: Cancun. Now that she\u2019s pulled back her righteous act from season one, she can finally let her hair down, have a margarita, show off her new teeth, and maybe go through an experimental college phase.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"blogCTA<\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Find out where Orbitz would send these Orange is the New Black inmates on vacation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88,"featured_media":35099,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1695,28,44,39,31],"tags":[1856,2713],"class_list":["post-35073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-destinations","category-europe","category-florida","category-hawaii","category-mexico","tag-destinations-2","tag-holidays-and-events"],"acf":{"api_active":null,"api_title":null,"api_excerpt":null,"api_featured_image":null,"api_lob":null},"posts_api_cpm_point":[{"name":"","description":"","thumbnail":"","address":"Hawaii, USA","latitude":"19.8967662","longitude":"-155.58278180000002","icon":"\/images\/icons\/marker.png"}],"yoast_head":"\nJailbreak: Where we'd send Orange Is the New Black season 3 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