{"id":31121,"date":"2014-12-30T08:58:05","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T14:58:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/?p=31121"},"modified":"2018-03-02T11:08:34","modified_gmt":"2018-03-02T17:08:34","slug":"15-things-never-say-miamian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.orbitz.com\/blog\/2014\/12\/15-things-never-say-miamian\/","title":{"rendered":"15 things never to say to a Miamian"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"South<\/a><\/p>\n

Avoid taking heat in Miami<\/a> by not saying these 15 things.<\/p>\n

1) Why are you wearing all of those layers? It\u2019s 68 degrees.<\/strong>
\nWe break out the winter wear in Miami<\/a><\/strong> if it\u2019s below 70\u2026maybe 75. Hats, gloves, scarves, coats, boots\u2014all of it. Wait,\u00a0you\u2019re going swimming today? We don\u2019t go in the water unless it\u2019s 89 degrees outside.<\/p>\n

2) I\u2019m in South Beach<\/a>, b*tches!<\/strong>
\nNo, you\u2019re not. You\u2019re in downtown Miami. The same place where LeBron James brought\u00a0(and subsequently removed) his talents. It was then, and always has been,downtown\u2014not South Beach.<\/p>\n

3) Can you pick me up from the Fort Lauderdale Airport<\/a>? It’s close, right?<\/strong>
\nNo. Not even a little.\u00a0We don\u2019t go anywhere near I-95 during rush hour. Or ever. Crossing through the Golden Glades Interchange is like trekking across the Canadian border.<\/p>\n

Related: Where we’d send these Orange is the New Black<\/em>\u00a0inmates on vacation<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

4) Shouldn\u2019t you use your blinkers?\u00a0<\/strong>
\nAbsolutely not. That\u2019s a sign of weakness.<\/p>\n

5) Will it ever stop raining?<\/strong>
\nWait five minutes. If it still hasn\u2019t stopped,wait another five minutes.<\/p>\n

6)<\/strong> I\u2019m headed to that ritzy island with all the \u00a0mansions\u2026the one in the Keys.\u00a0<\/strong>
\nKey Biscayne is not part of the Florida Keys<\/a><\/strong>. It\u2019s the island \u00a0just south of South Beach<\/a><\/strong>, located within Miami-Dade \u00a0County. The Keys are in Monroe County. And Fort \u00a0Lauderdale<\/a><\/strong> is in Broward County. And the rest of the \u00a0state\u2026well\u2026we\u2019ll just call that the State of Florida. Hey, they don’t claim us either.<\/p>\n

7) You\u2019re an hour late.<\/strong>
\nActually, I\u2019m right on time. And the bar was empty when you got here, wasn\u2019t it? And slow down because we\u2019re not going out until after midnight, and it\u2019s only happy hour, so pace yourself. Dinner isn\u2019t until 10 p.m. Wipe that grin off your face; I know you think it\u2019s awesome that happy hour goes until 8 p.m.<\/p>\n

\"blogCTA<\/a><\/p>\n

8) Brick-ELL has so many tall buildings.
\n<\/strong>It\u2019s pronounced BRICK-uhl. So-Fi stands for the South of Fifth neighborhood on Miami<\/a> Beach. The Design District and Wynwood are not the same place even though they both have art. And, no, we won\u2019t frown upon your use of Spanglish; it\u2019s the same language that we speak.<\/span><\/p>\n

9) I\u2019m dying for some tacos right now. Let\u2019s try that Cuban place you told me about.<\/strong>
\nMexican food and Cuban food are NOT THE SAME THING. Neither is Brazilian, Argentinian, Peruvian, Costa Rican, Dominican, Puerto Rican, Haitian or Jamaican. But if any of those sound good to you, I know a great place. And if you decide to order that very common pinkish fish, make sure you call it SAL-mon, not SAM-on, or the waiter won\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.<\/p>\n

Related: Celebrate summer solstice with these spectacular sunrises and sunsets<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

10) I can\u2019t believe they towed my car.<\/strong>
\nYou should be proud. It\u2019s a rite of passage. Just wait until you\u2019ve had your identity stolen.<\/p>\n

11) Why are you drinking your coffee out of a\u00a0teeny tiny plastic shot glass?<\/strong>
\nTell you what, why don\u2019t you chug the rest of this colada<\/em> and call me in 48 hours after you haven\u2019t slept for\u00a0two days? And let\u2019s get a few\u00a0things straight: a colada<\/em>, cortadito<\/em> and cafe con leche<\/em> are not the same things, but guava pastelitos<\/em> go amazingly well with all of them.<\/p>\n

12) What is<\/em> Miami Spice? Should I try it? Would I like it?<\/strong>
\nYes, and yes.\u00a0Here’s why<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n

13) All the women in Miami are so unbelievably\u00a0gorgeous.\u00a0<\/strong>
\nWe know. They\u2019re either Cuban, Brazilian, Argentinian, Peruvian, Costa Rican, Dominican, Puerto Rican, Haitian or Jamaican. Or Russian.\u00a0Or some combination therein.<\/p>\n

Related:\u00a07\u00a0Florida beaches locals want to keep secret<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

14) So you probably spend a lot of time on Ocean Drive<\/a>.<\/strong>
\nA) We don\u2019t go to Ocean Drive unless it\u2019s Sunday. B) They\u2019re doing body-painting at the Clevelander<\/a><\/strong>. And C)\u00a0You\u2014our dear out-of-town guest\u2014have specifically requested to hang with\u00a0scantily clad women on the beach in a party-your-pants-off\u00a0atmosphere.<\/p>\n

15) Whoa. You just kissed me!<\/strong>
\nRelax. That\u2019s a greeting, not a come on. This is Miami<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Find out the\u00a0“right” things to say to a Miamian on your next trip<\/a> there!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What not to say if you want to avoid the heat in Miami.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":102,"featured_media":31124,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[92,207,1803],"class_list":["post-31121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-florida","tag-florida-vacations","tag-miami","tag-miami-vacations"],"acf":{"api_active":null,"api_title":null,"api_excerpt":null,"api_featured_image":null,"api_lob":null},"posts_api_cpm_point":[{"name":"","description":"","thumbnail":"","address":"Miami, FL, USA","latitude":"25.7616798","longitude":"-80.19179020000001","icon":"\/images\/icons\/marker.png"}],"yoast_head":"\n15 things never to say to a Miamian | Orbitz<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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